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The Burden may be Heavy, but Your Response is more Important

There is a time in life when, out of the blue, something heavy is thrown at you. You wake up one morning and discovered that things are no longer the same. You may try to stay calm, plan or wish that life was different, but the fact remains that sometimes you are not allowed to choose your burden. What you are allowed to choose is the manner in which you carry it. That decision is the one which can make all the difference.

I am familiar with this through my own life. It was fifteen years ago that, due to medical complications during my college years, I developed a hearing disability. The change was quite abrupt and it altered my life in ways I had never thought of. Just the emotional shock was beyond my capability to bear. The trauma, the social struggle, and the silent discrimination that came with it could have taken away one's spirit. I had times when I felt totally adrift and even thought of taking my own life.

But gradually, I figured out that it was not the burden that had the power to shape my future; it was the manner in which I carried it.

There are a lot of people who, in such a situation, inevitably become isolated, dependent, or depressed. People react differently to their hardships: some rum away from them, some are crushed by them, and some act as if they do not exist. I didn't make a choice like that.

When I was going through a tough time, I changed my point of view, made my own method of adjustment, and created a life which still seemed to be of value. My hearing impairment didn't go, but I grew my power alongside it.

True power is the initial step of the decision on how to carry one's load. It involves confronting the situation without allowing it to determine your value. Of course, it is difficult, but I am not without help.

Furthermore, when you stop looking at the weight and start looking at the way you deal with it, you become more firm inside you. This is what resilience really means: not pretending that everything is okay, but looking after yourself to the extent that you are still able to go on.

Take a rest when you can't go on. Take a deep breath when you are suffocated. Remind yourself that you are allowed to have your own healing time, so you will be able to keep on going.

And finally, the burden may be beyond your control, your reaction is always under your control. It is this single and simple choice which has the power to change everything.

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