April And I

April was… weird. Not bad weird, just that kind of month where everything felt like a lot but also like nothing was happening at the same time. You ever feel that? Like your brain’s full but you can’t even explain why?

I started the month thinking I was gonna be super productive. Had this whole list of projects and goals, and honestly, I actually started strong. I was working on a quiz app for this frontend hackathon—20 questions, nice UI, Firebase for login and storing scores. It felt good, like, “Okay, maybe I actually know what I’m doing.” But then some days I’d open my laptop, look at the code, and my brain would just tap out. Like nah, not today.

Sometimes I’d sit there for hours trying to fix one stupid bug, and other times I’d build a whole feature in 30 minutes. No in-between. I’d get frustrated, shut everything down, go scroll for a bit, then feel guilty like, “Bro, you’re wasting time again.” That cycle showed up a lot this month.

And while all that was happening, I kinda unplugged from people. Not intentionally. I just didn’t have the energy. Group chats were draining. Family drama popped up and I dipped out real quick—wasn’t in the mood for fake smiles or arguments about nothing. I needed space. Even from people I like. Sometimes, you just need to be left alone with your thoughts, y’know?

I also worked on this branding AI tool called BrandSage. Cool idea, but at one point I felt like I was way over my head. API stuff, chatbot integration, making the UI smooth—there were moments I genuinely thought, “Maybe I’m not smart enough for this.” But I kept going. I didn’t figure it all out, but I didn’t quit either. That’s something.

Then there was LindaSalesPro—this dashboard thing I was building. I got super obsessed with making it pixel-perfect. Like, zooming in on tiny buttons, tweaking shadows and paddings till 2am. Probably overkill, but it weirdly made me feel calm. Like, when everything else felt messy, I could at least control how that screen looked.

NexaChat came back into the picture too. It’s this chat app I’ve been working on forever. Every time I think it’s done, I find new stuff to add. But I’m not even mad about it. It’s kinda become my comfort project. When I’m stuck or bored, I go back and build something small there just to remind myself I can.

Honestly, April wasn’t some “crush your goals” kind of month. It was more like… survive, build what you can, rest when you need to, and try not to hate yourself for not doing more. There were days I felt behind. Days I felt like I had no clue what I was doing. But also days where I caught myself smiling at something I made and thinking, “Yeah, that’s pretty dope.”

So yeah. Not perfect. Not super productive every single day. But real. And I think I needed a month like that.

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