Weekend Engagement - Good Intentions But Bad Advice?

What has been the worst advice you've received or given? Explain.

I think advice in itself can be good or bad depending on the recipient and the context. At the back of many advice, there seems to be a pattern of good intentions but sometimes, it might not achieve the intended outcome.

One bad advice I could think of would be to be nice to people. The motivation behind this advice is likely to instil a sense of positive upbringing and be someone that people like. Which isn't a bad thing, sometimes.

Growing up, I was taught to be respectful to elders. In school, to be obedient and always complete my homework in time. Or even in the army, to listen and obey the commanders.

But it all changed when I started my adult journey and stepped in the society and the workplace. Thinking back, being nice actually got me nowhere good but more suffering and misery. Let's face it, the world is not made up of 100% nice people, especially when stakes are high in this dog-eat-dog world. Being nice just made me susceptible to being taken advantaged of, be it at the workplace, or even outside of work during daily interactions with property or insurance agents, or even hotel staff sometimes.

I think my turning point was probably around 30 years old, when I realised that nice people are often being bullied or taken for granted, and it's time for a change. That's not to say I turned into a nasty person overnight, but it's more to become more discerning when to be nice and obliging and when to stand firm on my principles and to reject and say "No" when required.

I think I am probably late when it comes to maturing in this aspect, partly because I had been living in a relatively sheltered environment compared to my peers and my introverted nature had kept my social interactions to a minimum. But like what people say, better late than never.

It has almost been a decade since I am "not so nice", reflecting back, my life has definitely been better and happier. My true friends are still around, but some of those bullies have somewhat disappeared. And from a personal growth perspective, I think it's a positive thing I am able to better stand up not just for myself, and also for my loved ones. In a way, it's about being more independent. Of course, there is never an end point for such soft skills, and it's always a work in progress for me.

So that's my sharing this week! Ending this post with a belated cake post - that's matcha with yuzu cream! The backstory of this goes back one of the posts from @galenkp, where he asked readers to post photos of cakes! And it was then I realised I couldn't find anything recent because (to my horror) it has been ages since I actually had one! And I finally got one this week!