Bullying : Desperate Situation Requires Desperate Measures - LOH #286

1️⃣ What are your thoughts on school bullying? How would you address it? If you have children, what would be your best advice for your child if they were to become a victim of bullying, and what would you do?

Bullying is a deliberate act by a person or group of person to another person, in order to oppress them, usually through words or actions. They carry out the act to make their victims look helpless, less important or less powerful, in order to “improve” their self-esteem. Someone who bullies does so to control their victims and feel important. A child who's a victim of bullying may likely be depressed, especially if he/she is the type that keeps things to him/herself. The child may also not want to go to school, due to fear.

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School bullying is very common these days, and the sad reality is that some school authorities are not doing enough to curb or stop the act. Some take it to be normal among school children, which is wrong. In my opinion, class teachers should pay close attention to their students. Know them individually. When a child is always quiet, appears afraid, sad, isolated or not wanting to go to school, he/she should be closely monitored to find out why.

If as a school teacher, I notice or got any report of a case of bullying in my school or class, I'll first call the villain for questionings, and if beyond every reasonable doubt it turned out to be true, I'll inform the parents/guardian about their child/ward's act with a strong warning of suspension or expulsion should the behaviour continues. I will also invite the victim for counseling, to always defile fear and speak up when faced with bullying.

My child was once a victim of bullying. So, what I'm about to share was exactly how I handled it. I'd always taught them not to fight but report issues to their teachers. That sounds civil but I think it's not always the right way to go about every issue, as it makes them dependent for help, and feel that their teachers or parents will always be there to help them out. Sometimes it's good to teach them to stand up for themselves and resist intimidation, because that's how bullying starts.

In the case of my child, no proper action was taken by the school authorities, even when they assured me that they would look into the issue, after I called to express my displeasure. The bullying continued. I thought of ending it my own way and to protect my child's mental health. So I asked my child to stand up for herself, not to allow anyone to make her feel less of a human and never to be intimidated by anyone but to talk to people with love and respect. That if anyone hits her and the situation demands, she should retaliate.

That advice changed everything. It killed fear in her. She understood that bullies weaponize fear to take advantage of their victims. She started acting on the advice. The next time the bully came with her usual antics, she thought it was business as usual but never knew it wasn't. To cut a long story short, the bullying stopped. She no longer gets scared of going to school, nor talks with fear, and there's no more complaint about being bullied.

Desperate situations require desperate measures! It worked for me.

This is my response to the first prompt of the weekly contest by @ladiesofhive community. You may join here

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