Saying something: Part Sixteen - Ownership
I had an idea a while back to do a little series of posts about things I've learned and applied to my personal and professional life. I'll keep these posts quite short but hope someone reads something they can fit into their own life of they can use to good effect.
Three words I value greatly are ownership, responsibility and discipline and this (and the next two posts in this series) will focus on one of them.
Ownership
This is a small word with a broad scope when applied to a person's life; it can bring immense personal benefit, transform a life in such positive ways if used correctly, and conversely the lack of ownership can have negative effects, hold a person back (or carry them backwards) and prevent progression, development and growth.
There's so many ways a person can show and take ownership and knowing when and how is one of the most important elements; I don't have all the answers, I'm not that smart (no one is), but with a mindset that causes me to apply ownership to myself, thoughts, attitudes and actions, and my life generally I feel I've positioned myself in better ways to find the results I've sought. It's not always easy, taking ownership can be confronting, uncomfortable and even awkward although it speaks highly of one's character if it's applied.
Shifting blame to others is a lack of ownership and blame itself is negative. The failure to say sorry and mean it is a lack of ownership and will effect a person negatively from other people's perspective and from one's own. Making excuses for failure, defeat or poor results is a lack of ownership and is something the weak-minded will do in an attempt to preserve their ego and pride. Negative.
Accepting blame or guilt and finding solutions is ownership. Knowing when to say sorry, why and how (and meaning it) is ownership. Evaluating performance and results and finding better ways forward after a defeat or failure is ownership.
There's a few examples above and while they may be difficult to do...they're really not...it just takes intelligence (mental and emotional) and the right ethos when it comes to the journey of life. Ownership is, in my opinion, critical to a person's life if they want to live their best version of it. .
What do you think? How have you shown personal ownership and have there been times you have not? Feel free to comment.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
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Image(s) in this post are my own
Reading this feels like you're directly talking to me. At some point in my life, if anything happens, the first thing I do is to look for who to blame. My husband try telling me to always take ownership of whatever that happens whether good or bad.
And as time goes on, I come to realize that taking ownership doesn't mean that, I'm a bad person or a failure, it means that I have admit my wrongs and ready to do my best next time. Thank you.
Do you think you'll be able to take ownership or do you feel you'll repeat the same behaviour that it seems you know is not productive?
I'm now taking ownership. No more blames.
Good work.
Thanks 🙏.
Setting the correct expectation is always the first step to ownership, in my view. If something cannot be delivered or not within the promised timeframe, an explanation (not excuses) is deserved, as well as a revised timeline - but it should never get to that point.
It should be communicated as early as possible in the piece in order to avoid that situation from happening in the first place, and for the correct priorities and outputs to be reset.
You say it well, not much to add really. Thanks for your input and joining in the conversation.
I’ve found that when I stop making excuses and just accept my part in a mistake, things actually get easier because I can move forward faster. Like you said, it’s not always comfortable, but it helps build trust with others and with yourself.
I think real growth starts when we choose ownership over blame.
Cool, that's exactly what I'm getting at, ownership moves a person forward more positively and productively.
I definitly believe that ownership is the key to happyness - that life no longer just happens to you but you gain into control.
While taking ownership is definitly a skill to master - infact it is also the first of the 'The 7 habits of highly effective people' by Stephen Covey
For me personally - the biggest challenge is not to take ownership for things that are not mine. While my sense of responsibility is helping at times - I noticed that that I quickly take over responsibilities from others and thereby deprive them of a learning opportunity. I did this at work but also with my kids (being a bit overprotective). Keeping a simple journal on this, reflecting and also to come back at this as it occured helped a great deal to change this for the better!
(p.s. I followed your advice and stopped the large delegation - taking ownership :) )
Trying to take on responsibilities and ownership of everything can end up limiting progression so it's important to know when to accept it and when not to. It can be difficult to know when and what though.
I like that you took some ownership and hope it goes well.
Sadly, in our world today a lot of people who find themselves in places of authority would rather shift blame rather than accept their mistakes, own it, apologize when necessary and move on.
I believe we still have people who do this without shame just that they might be few of them.
Have you ever tried to shift blame away from yourself?
Naturally, I am quick to admit my mistakes and apologize but Who knows, I might have done that in the past unconsciously.
Well spoken @galenkp, we live in a world today where most people don't know how to take ownership or should I say won't take ownership of situations that were meant to just last for a moment, especially redirecting blames to others instead of owning up and taking responsibility of the situation.
Laying blame on others when it is one's own fault is not the way to find better results.
Most people blame others or chance for what happens to them... that's very easy. The hard part is taking responsibility because it involves internal work to accept what we do. Nothing happens by chance; we cause it.
Due to family beliefs, when I was younger, I did what everyone else did: blame others. But when I really realised how responsible we are for everything, thoughts, actions... everything, that's when I was able to repair things I had done wrong. I believe that the words “thank you”, “please” and “sorry” are very important in life, and I use them.
Due to differences in thinking, I have misinterpreted something someone said to me and acted accordingly. When I realise my mistake, I apologise accordingly. I made the mistake, no one else.
It's good that you realised your errors and ceased blaming others and taking responsibility instead. Has it worked better for you?
Much better, I was able to change my life by understanding the root of everything. Now I am the one who consciously creates my life!
A life lived by design is better than one lived by default.
I don't want to live like an automaton, but rather being conscious of every step I take. It's worth it.
It reminded me of my stint with the corporate. Nobody like to take the ownership, and pushing the balls from one table to another. The competitive nature of the world is shifting
Everyone likes to remain clean, may be for that they may make others to suffer...ownership is lacking and so does the intent to execute.
Ohhh, heck. Corporate is full of no one wanting to take responsibility, let alone ownership. A constant barrage of "what do you think?" , "maybe we should ask x", "can we get input and sign off from x?"
For fucks sake, just do the fucking thing. The customer wants the product. They've paid. Make it. Quality Check It. Send it. You're paid to deliver, not paid to piss fart around. I don't miss my last stint in corporate. I just wanted to get SHIT DONE, while I was surrounded by bell-ends who wanted to check off 400 different lists - none of which involved actually getting a product out, a process improved, or the bloody thing launched!
It astounds me how any corpo culture can make any money when there's so much weasle-work going on!
Some place are not meant for people who does not know how to put blame on other...I too have aome pathetic experince ..working in such situation is he'll...but the one who play the blame game get more success...the typical corporate life.
Corporations is a place many who lack ownership, discipline and responsibility can relatively easily hide. The wrong people are promoted often, and that leads to bad culture. They talk a big game but don't follow up on it. Corporations fonsonmuch incorrectly when it comes to their human resources.
The greatest areana to make other suffer for their lack of intent or ownership
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I had to translate it because I wasn't totally getting it, so now I discovered ownership is for responsibility also, I thought it was owning something, in fact the post wasn't making much sense like this...
Now I get it, yeah I always take ownership, I mean if like I did a bug at work why hide it? Admit it and try and fix, you just look like a fake person irresponsible and not reliable otherwise... Saying sorry is something that people won't do even under torture nowadays...
Yeah, owning a thing (posession) and taking responsibility.
Shifting blame away to save ego and pride doesn't make for a good future. Best to accept it, take ownership of that issue, and then find better ways forward.
Ownership is a really good quality to have and I think it kind of goes hand in hand with humility. You need to be humble to be able to take ownership when you mess up. So many of us are lacking in emotional intelligence these days. Perhaps that is the next pandemic :P
There's so many ways humans are running off the rails, away from good behaviours to bad, and I think it's going to seriously effect growth and development...retard it.
When I make a mistake, my first reaction is always disbelief. Surely I couldn’t be at fault. I'm far too meticulous. Still, I have no problem owning up to the small slip-ups. That way, when I make some monumental blunder and deny all responsibility, people are more likely to believe me:)
Outstanding lol....it makes perfect sense to me!
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Of course it does! Sure aren't we birds of a feather:)
Aye, and it's uncanny😁
I can't even fathom the thought of you making a mistake.
Hahaha. It seems I have acquired something of a reputation for my excellence and virtue.
A paragon indeed.
I'd be in complete disbelief, too, if you made a mistake. That's inconceivable! But I can relate, it's that "What, really, I was THAT stupid? ME?" kind of reality check that is needed from time to time. For me, not for you, you're perfect as you are.
You're not wrong. As a child, my nickname at home was prim and proper. It is my life's work to be an example to you all and the personification of perfection.
Thank you for taking up with the burden of being an example! Though I'm sure it comes naturally to you, the pressure of perfection is never an easy companion. It's another trait of yours to admire, motivating us, the flawed, to strive for better.
Indeed. I like the concept and I agree. I did a course on Conflict Management and Anger Management in the workplace and I liked the concept where they may you to analyse how much of your world you think you are able to influence and how much of it is bad, but you just have to accept it.
So that is part of it. Do I have ownership of the shit I have? Or do I blame it on everyone or everything else?
This concept has allowed me to move forward on my own steam instead of being negative and accepting what has happened as all external.
"Move forward." That's the point of it... ownership forces decisions, plans and strategies to find better outcomes. ✅
I used to think it took a lot of ownership for things. Then, several years ago, I read the book "Extreme Ownership" and it greatly shifted my thinking. It revealed ways I was making excuses for things that might seem to be beyond my control but really aren't.
It's a fantastic book on personal responsibiliy if you ever get a chance to check it out, or know someone struggling with this.
I have the book and have read it a few times...Jocko's podcast is also very good.
Haven't heard his podcast but I listened to his episode with Tim Ferriss.
I find a lot of value in the podcast for many reasons, it resonates with me.
Thanks for the tip. Downloading an episode now to check it out.
You may not like it, depends on your experiences I guess, although I think there's a lot of value people could take away.
That's one of the most important things you can teach to your kids when they are quite young. If they grow up to admit that, then you've done a great job at raising good, sound members of society.
Yep, I think so and that's how my niece and nephew are being raised. If I had kids I'd do the same...because I know no other way.
Damn, I replied to myself 😆
I deleted that and put the reply here, where it belongs.
Reply:
I do get the feeling that your niece and nephew are wise beyond their years, they're solid.
They are solid indeed.
And...replying to yourself must be one of those skills you mentioned elsewhere. 😂
😂 I willingly admit that I talk to myself, but apparently now have evolved into responding to myself in text.
You're not crazy. Really.
I keep telling myself that, but then I and me argue about it for awhile, and then I get confused and just be quiet lol
Oh yeah, those self arguments can be problematic, especially when one stops speaking to the other.
Awkward.
lol
Blaming others has become very common and is a way of avoiding taking responsibility. It seems that it is easier to blame others and continue through life peacefully. I believe that evaluating and correcting weak areas is of great help to improve. Some responsibilities are demanding and require more than we think, and that is where belonging and commitment are vital.
Without ownership and responsibility a person will struggle to advance and develop. It makes no sense to shift blame, lessons aren't learned.
I have to agree and go along with @deirdyweirdy on this one. I make even less mistakes than she if that is humanly possible. Behind the 18 wheels of this Prime Mover that is 💯% true.
The rest of my day is a bumbling stumbling display of "oops's and ahh shits..."
Ok, maybe not that bad but when not behind the wheel there is definitely some trial and error in my life.
I will fucking own it. Both behind the wheel and not.
Of course you agree with me. It'd be a mistake not to!:)
See even when your wrong you are right..👍😉👍
So as I understand it, you're a ballet dancer behind the wheel and a break dancer outside of the truck? I think that's how I read it😆
10-4 Roger that.. copy?
I can't dance.
But Sammi can...
Proof--->
Ooo, she's gettin' it! Go,Gurrrl!! lol
My personal responsibility, both at work and in my private life, is at a high level, so high that even my superiors praise this quality of mine.
It's just a shame when such praise is not accompanied by an adequate reward 🙂
But what can I do, I can't change.
so brought up and such an attitude.
When I screw something up (although it rarely happens, just for reasons of responsibility, because I approach solving tasks in detail, precisely and professionally, as they say, responsibly), I accept the blame and try to learn something from that mistake.
There was one situation when I was doing a test and thus permanently damaged a piece of electronic equipment. The owner of the company where I work, knowing me and my qualities, accepted my apology and offer to pay the expenses, with the comment: "If it is for the benefit of testing and learning, the company will pay, how else are you going to test, discover something new and move forward".
I do that a lot in my company, but only the first time. Honest mistakes happen, I make sure that they learn out of it. But negligence is a different kind of animal, that's something I don't tolerate and make them take full responsibility for it. The balance has created a very good work environment, and though they still leave me flabbergasted from time to time, the progress my co-workers made is undeniable. And that's a great feeling, that me, helping them taking responsibility, also help them improve personally. It feels like I have more than just an economic impact.
The negligence of the people around me completely derails me.
It's astonishing. But it makes sense, considering that most people are increasingly focused on only themselves, becoming unaware of possible consequences of their actions. I mean, that could be one of many explanations. Or just me trying to see the human being, and not the personification of idiocy inhabiting a human body.
You might be surprised, but I wholeheartedly agree with you. Now, one more linguistic question - what is the difference between "taking ownership" and "taking responsibility" in this case? I kind of thought they were synonyms in this sense. Never mind the question if you think of answering that in the post about responsibility.
Taking ownership is achieving freedom, as by doing so, we're not dependent on anything else anymore.
Something like that is what I wrote in a post a while back, too long to dig up. To blame someone or somebody else, we need them, so we can't be free. Everyone always says "with freedom comes responsibility", but it works the other way around, too, with taking responsibility for our actions, with owning them, we become free.
It's also empowering. That's why it's so important to teach to people, if possible. I mentioned in a comment to a comment below that I try to encourage my co-workers to own their mistakes fully so they can learn and improve, and it's great to see the effects.
Same goes for Lily. I rarely punish her for anything, but encourage her to find solutions. Mostly together, of course, the solutions a 7 year old brings to the table can be rather destructive. But it's showing, as I mentioned in my Saturday Selection post the other day. And it feels great to see that.
In the context of this post, I see ownership as accepting that an individual is to blame for a suboptimal situation. Responsibility is then doing what's required, taking action, to move towards better results. But if you want to see them as the same thing then own it, and have the responsibility to yourself to apply the right things to your life.
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