From Antisocial to Gym Social

I have always described myself as an antisocial person. But looking back, I am no longer sure that was entirely true.

Maybe I was not antisocial. Maybe I was anxious, tired, insecure, or simply waiting to feel safe enough to be myself.

After working with people for so many years, being surrounded by large groups can feel exhausting. Sometimes I start socialising when I feel comfortable, but other times I try to speak, get interrupted, and end up returning to my usual strategy: staying quiet, smiling and nodding.

That was probably one of the reasons I turned to the online world. Even here, when I first wanted to start writing blog posts, it took me some time to overcome the fear of putting myself out there.

Motherhood did not exactly help my social life either. Don't get me wrong: being a mother is one of the best things in the world and one of the greatest parts of my life. But let's be honest — motherhood can also be incredibly lonely...It can fill your heart while still leaving other parts of your life feeling empty. Both things can be true at the same time.

For a long time, calling myself antisocial may also have been a convenient excuse to avoid the gym. The idea of exercising in front of other people was already intimidating, and my insecurities about my body made it even harder.

But now I think I have reached a different conclusion: Maybe I did not hate gyms. Maybe I had never walked into the right one.

Running Opened the First Door

Last year, I started running, and it was one of the best things I could have done for myself. It was not only about moving my body..Running gave me mental clarity. It helped me organise my thoughts, build confidence and make better decisions.

One of those decisions was to give gyms another chance.

My original goal was to improve my strength and become a better runner. At least, that was the plan in the beginning. My first option was a gym close to home. That meant I could not use the journey as an excuse, and it also had one important bonus: it was a women-only gym. Hey, nothing against men, of course, but I believe that many women avoid gyms partly because they feel intimidated or uncomfortable in mixed spaces, especially when they are already struggling with body confidence.

This was not a traditional gym either. There was no big room filled with weight machines and people wearing headphones while trying not to look at one another. Instead, there were group classes, personalised training and cross-training — or CrossFit — which was the activity one of the instructors recommended for me.

The fact that it was a group activity made me a little sceptical. Groups were exactly what I had been trying to avoid! Still, I was willing to try, and the classes were small enough to feel manageable.

More Than a Workout

With time, I started to understand why the CrossFit community is called exactly that: a community! Everyone arrives carrying their own struggles, goals and insecurities. We are all fighting different battles, but during the workout, we support one another and somehow fight together.

That was where I fell in love with a new sport...

Am I actually good at CrossFit? Some days I surprise myself...Other days, gravity wins! But little by little, I have improved, become stronger and started doing things I never imagined I could do.

One of the best parts of this community has been the friendships I have created with some of the “box babes”, as I affectionately call them. They started encouraging me to push a little harder during the classes. Then they began inviting me to go for coffee with them. That may sound completely ordinary to some people, but for me, it created a little click in my mind: Wait… am I socialising now?

Somewhere between lifting weights, complaining about burpees and going for coffee afterwards, the antisocial woman started making friends.

Eventually, they encouraged me to attend classes every day. When I started, I was only going three times a week. They also convinced me to try some of the other group classes. Those classes are usually bigger and still feel slightly more intimidating, but when they are there with me, everything feels easier.

In July, I had the opportunity to attend the gym’s anniversary gala...
I had declined invitations to previous celebrations because I did not know anyone. I could already imagine myself standing awkwardly in a corner, smiling politely while wondering how soon I could go home.

But this time was different...This time, I had to go!

I was not simply entering a room full of strangers anymore. I was going to spend time with people I knew, people I trained with and people I genuinely wanted to see.

Accepting that invitation may have looked like a small decision from the outside, but to me, it represented how much had changed.

Maybe I Was Never Antisocial

Today, I actually feel happy when the girls message me and ask if I am going to train at the same time as them. We share videos we recorded during our workouts and give one another tips on how to improve. We celebrate progress, laugh at our struggles and encourage each other to do a little more.

The instructors are also amazing. They are always ready to help, correct us, and somehow convince us that we can finish the workout even when our bodies are strongly suggesting otherwise.

Most importantly, these people make me feel good! They make me want to show up — not only for the workout, but for them and for myself.

I do not think the gym magically transformed me into a social butterfly. I am still me. Large groups can still make me anxious, and I will probably always need time alone to recharge.

But perhaps that is the real lesson.

Sometimes, you are not antisocial. Sometimes, you are simply in the wrong place, surrounded by people who do not make you feel safe enough to open up.

In the right place, with the right people, you do not have to force yourself to belong.

You simply begin to shine :)

As a gift to all the Gym Staff, I had to paint, of course ;)