Weekend-Engagement #305: Have you ever been in a dangerous situation? What was it, how did you deal with it and how has it changed what you do moving forward?
When I read this question, an episode came back to my mind that I don’t often talk about, but that marked me, here everything is anonymous so why not tell it. I was a kid, I was simply walking down the street going to the small football field to play with my classmates, as I did every day. At a certain point I notice a car stopping a little further ahead, for no reason at all, it didn’t have to give way, nor was any car coming. Inside there were people I didn’t like, bad faces, foreigners too. One gets out from the passenger seat and starts coming towards me without saying a word.
I wasn’t naive thinking I was exaggerating or imagining things, I trusted my instinct and my distrust and I started to step back and at that point he started running towards me, so I ran away too.
I still remember the adrenaline and the blind run without looking back knowing that if I stopped it was over, I simply headed towards a woman on a bicycle, running to get closer to her and when I reached her the guy had gone back and the car sped away. Those were different times, there were no smartphones to take pictures, no cameras around, there were no witnesses and no way I could remember the car or the license plate so in the end nothing was done.
The difficult part was after, the fear was there, of course, but I couldn’t stop living and lock myself at home nor could I become paranoid, however it would be false to say that it didn’t change me.
Since then, when I am out, I always have everything under control, as if I were scanning every person, every movement, everything that happens around me, near or far. It is not something heavy or tiring, it is natural, like walking. Whether on foot or in the car, I notice details that others ignore or don’t pay attention to. A recent example, walking with my family on the sidewalk, I saw a man on a distant bench, foreigner, bad face… but the thing I noticed immediately is that there was an empty bottle of some alcohol placed on the ground and next to him the guy had a bottle of beer, I immediately thought he could be drunk and looking to cause trouble. I made us change direction immediately, and in all this my wife had seen the guy, but she hadn’t noticed anything about the bottles nor connected it to a possible drunk person.
Or when I drive: someone tells me “watch out for the one cutting you off” or “watch out they are braking hard”, but when they tell me that I already have my foot on the brake, because I had seen it before (and sometimes predicted it).
Sometimes my wife jokes saying that I have a radar for pretty girls around, because I always point them out when I see them. But that’s not it. It’s a radar for everything that happens, and it all started from that afternoon.
Random photo taken this weekend
Post in response to @galenkp Weekend-Engagement topics: WEEK305
Your whole life could have changed in that moment. A really scary incident, and in a way it did change your life.
Being aware is a survival skill.
Now even more, as life is getting more dangerous in general with random aggressions
When I was 23 I came home late from work. I lived in an apartment building then. The lobby to my building was well lit. I walked in and behind me the nicest looking young man entered. I held the door for him. I got on the elevator. He followed. Then he pushed the 'stop' button and told me, "Turn around and you won't get hurt." He held something in his pocket and pushed it toward me meaningfully, as though it might have a gun or knife. I realized I was alone. No one around. Just this young man, who was quite tall. I weighed less than 120 lbs. I didn't turn. He became more urgent. He kept repeating those words and moved closer to me. I refused to turn. I told him, "I can't. I'm crazy. If you do this to me I'll crack up." I told him anything, but I wasn't turning around. Fortunately, he was an inexperienced attacker. He didn't know what to do with me. There was the well-lit lobby and the street visible. He gave up and went away.
I figured, whatever he's going to do, I'm not going to make it easy for him. I'm going to fight.
I was lucky, but I'll tell you one thing, to this day I never get in an elevator alone with a strange man. If I'm in an elevator and a man gets on, I get off. I was lucky once. Will I be lucky again?
Well, that's my scary story :)
My god that is terrible too! I think the only thing that saved you was not to obey and rebel
In the bad, you had a bit of luck that he gave up, indeed better never to challenge fate more than once
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STOPThat's a trauma for a kid, yet it makes your life safer and in control in the long run...
That is a very scary situation, especially when you are a child... I'm not surprised it changed your life completely and made you more cautious about the things happening in your surroundings... I remember having similar nightmares when I was a kid, but mostly "inspired" by some ridiculous movies which weren't for my age for sure!
I still can't grasp how we went to school alone in those days. I remember that I even went to kindergarten alone for some time... I suppose those were different days... But, after reading your story, were they?
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Oh yeah movies can be also source for some trauma!
Alone at kindergarten? Wow... my parents were sent alone after day 1 at primary school, I've been going alone since 4th class, back and forth, simply one day my parents told me "you are gown up, since tomorrow you go alone", and that was it... Nowadays it's impossible to imagine something like that
Small town, almost everyone knew everyone... I suppose that was the premise for so much trust... But, if something similar happened as you told, it would have been broken earlier... Nowadays, parents take children to school through all elementary..
Here too, like teachers won't let them get out unless there is a parent or someone delegated... And at the next grade you need to sign a paper if you don't pick the kids yourself... Back at my days when the bell rang everyone would just escape out of the school
Hehehehe... Those were the days... The first sound of the bell... 😂
😂
I’m much the same, constantly monitoring what’s happening around me, which is why I never wear earphones. I’ve been mugged twice and escaped unscathed, purely because, a split second before each attack, I became aware of someone walking just a little too close behind me.
I never wear earphones either, they isolate too much, without you can hear footsteps behind, if they are getting too close, too fast, like in your case... Glad you made it without consequences
Sharp instincts matter more than you think.