Yesterday was a good day, mostly. I walked a lot, 20k steps, selling the bread and was very successful at it. By 1pm, I was done. Easily. Next week, I’ll carry some more extras to sell. It’s a good feeling to know that it really depends on the sales person, on speaking English, on moving quickly. That the payment, even if taking an hour longer than I, is still very fair. And I enjoyed it so much.
Talking to the folks, joking, getting the bread to the people, visiting my friends at the hospital (the hospital has become quite the good spot to sell), organizing. It was invigorating. I was indeed tired in the afternoon, when the lawyer sent me some documents to fill out and sign – something that should’ve been done 4 months ago, but thanks to a certain incompetent central authority agency that lost all the papers, it never did.
And now it will take probably 6 more months. If not more, 6 months is the recommendation by the international treaty of 1980 regarding the restitution of children taken illegally from their home country. But recommendations in such a highly inefficient continent… I admit, I was close to throwing the towel yesterday. To just abandon all the progress I have made on all fronts, and indulge into hedonistic, egoistic behavior again. Because, why? So many things are falling apart right now, parts of my life that were motivational for me. And the only thing that is left is s little bit of hope, and my own understanding of what is right. Not sure if that’s enough. We’ll see.
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Sometimes it seems things go wrong on all fronts. Don't let go of that little bit of hope. Hold onto it with all your might. YOu will see that things will improve.
They always do. Question for me is always why I put so much energy into becoming better, ironing out my flaws, being more aware of them. It seems like all the external motivations for that are falling apart. Maybe to see it as a test, that now I can see if I really want that.
good Actifit report