The Struggle Of Asking For Help.

Huhm, to be honest with y'all, I'm actually not the type to ask for help. It has never really been my thing, it's not easy nor convenient for me to reach out to someone and tell them I need their assistance/help regarding something. Not as if I don't have or know people who can and will come through for me, but I'm just the type who loves to try for myself. I like to handle things on my own and see before reaching out. I see it as disturbing the other person, also I do think what if they say no, I don't like that response at all, and most times, and as a guy, you won't want to look weak or not capable, so I tend to most times try things out and find a way to sort whatever it may be on my own.

Funniest part is, I might even be going through a thing and you wouldn't even know, we might see and talk everyday or even be staying together, still you wouldn't know I'm having any issues. I've mastered so well the art of looking good and okay when I'm not 🫣. I might be battling serious issues or problems and you will still see me going about my day as if nothing is happening, we might talk, gist and laugh and you wouldn't even know/suspect anything is wrong. And in all honesty, its not always intentional, but just like I said earlier about mastering the art of looking good even when I'm not fine, I've trained myself to be like that..so it just comes... naturally.

And due to those aforementioned reasons and maybe some more, I don't usually ask for help, not quickly. I will take my time before doing that, maybe when I've done all that I could and I've exhausted all my options, and there's no more way or option to go for again, then that's when you will see me practicing the best way to reach out to somebody for help. Not as if it still sits well with me.

This attitude of mine has helped me and at the same time it has done otherwise too, it had helped me in the sense that it has helped me avoid what we call "see finish" in Nigeria ✌️. Humans can be somehow at times, and I can't afford to be disrespected, or being taken for granted just because I'm asking for help. So, I try as much as possible to avoid it, those who reach out to people easily know better, they know the level of disrespect and see finish they have experienced. But when I finally summon courage to ask after I'm out of options, I noticed I usually get the help I need. Because then, anyone I ask knows that it's unlike me, I remember a time I asked a friend of mine for help earlier this year, she was like, "Toyosi, I'm always available, reach out to me anytime. I'm even glad you asked me." Some people really want to help, even still we shouldn't always misuse those opportunities by asking, asking, and asking and asking every time.

Now, about how it has cost me, there are times I open up late, or when an opportunity is gone already. Just last year I wanted to get something that would have helped me greatly, but I didn't ask the person who's close to me and can help me negotiate it, when I eventually decided to and ask him to help step in, he told me he just got that same thing I've been aiming to get for someone else less than a week ago, and I've seen it for over a month and kept mute. So, I've lost opportunities because I didn't speak up when I was supposed to.

So, depending on what it is and the kind of person we are reaching out to for help, I will suggest that we do the needful, but as well balance things just so to avoid "see finish."

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Images are mine.

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