The Thought That Got Away
Have you ever had this happen?
You’re in the middle of an amazing thought. Not just a casual idea, but one of those rare ones that feels important. World-changing, or at least life-changing. The kind of thought where you’re not just thinking it — you’re engaging with it. You’re excited. You’re talking to yourself, turning it over from different angles. You can feel it locking into place. This is it, you think. This is the idea I’ve been waiting for. This explains everything. This fixes everything. My God — you can fix the world!
And then something interrupts you.
Maybe you’re driving and someone runs a red light and you have to slam on the brakes. Maybe you’re stopped at a train crossing. Maybe you wander into another room and notice a mess your kids made. Maybe your phone buzzes. Maybe you fart. Maybe nothing dramatic happens at all — just a small shift of attention. You let go of the thought as yoru awareness shifts to the distraction.
A moment later, you try to return to the thought. But it’s gone.
You know it was there. You remember how good it felt. You remember the certainty. You remember thinking, “Don’t forget this.” And yet, no matter how hard you try, you can’t grab hold of it again. You chase it. You circle around where it used to be. You think, What was I just thinking about? You desperately try reconstructing the path that led you there. You circle around it, trying to will it back to you.
Nothing. It’s vanished completely.
This is one of the most ordinary human experiences there is — and also one of the strangest. It has happened to all of us. Not once, but many times. It’s happened to us so many times that we barely remark on it anymore, even though it’s deeply weird when you stop and think about it.
What kind of thing can feel so real, so powerful, so certain, and then evaporate without a trace? What kind of thing can feel like you in one moment, and be utterly inaccessible the next?
But here’s the thing — the part that matters: you’re still here.
The thought may disappear, but you didn’t. The excitement fades, but you remain. Whatever that thought was, however important it seemed, it was not essential to your continued existence.
That alone should give us pause.
We tend to assume that our thoughts are us. We think that our inner voice is our identity — it is us. That the thing narrating our lives is the thing that is our lives. But this experience quietly contradicts that assumption.
If you were your thoughts, then losing one should feel like losing a piece of yourself. But it doesn’t. It’s frustrating, sure, even upsetting. But it’s not annihilating. There’s no sense of existential damage. Life goes on.
And here’s where it gets interesting. If that thought wasn’t you — the brilliant one, the perfect one, the life-changing one — then none of them are.
- Not the anxious thoughts.
- Not the angry ones.
- Not the self-critical ones.
- Not even the comforting ones.
The entire monkey in your head — the nonstop narrator telling a story about who you are, what happened to you, what might happen next: that isn’t you either. It’s just another stream of thoughts, doing what thoughts do.
Put another way, the you in your head is just a collection of thoughts, none of which are actually you. It’s a ghost. The ghosts in A Christmas Carol may not really exist, but the one in your head, the one you mistake for yourself, absolutely does.
Zen has been pointing at this for centuries, but you don’t need Zen texts or meditation retreats to see it. You just need to lose a really good idea while driving to the grocery store.
Thoughts are ephemeral. They arise, they linger briefly, they dissolve. Some return later, but some never do. And they do this without asking your permission. You don’t summon thoughts so much as notice them arriving. You don’t hold onto thoughts so much as hope they stick around.
And when they don’t, there’s nothing you can do about it. Well, you could do the sensible thing and write them down when you have them, but… c’mon, we almost never do that.
This becomes more noticeable as we get older. Maybe that’s because memory changes. Or maybe it’s because older people spend more time in abstract thought. Maybe it’s both. But even young people experience it. The difference is that younger people are often too busy to notice how strange it is.
As we slow down, the cracks become visible. And in those cracks is something quietly liberating.
If thoughts were truly you, then losing them would be catastrophic. But instead, what you lose is more like weather. A passing storm. A brief clearing. A sudden fog.
The sky remains.
Or maybe losing thoughts is more like the dreams we lose every night. A passing dream on a spring night. It’s brief, it’s lovely, then it disappears and we are still here.
This doesn’t mean thoughts are unimportant. Some thoughts change lives. Some shape history, and some deserve to be written down, protected, shared. But their importance doesn’t come from permanence. It comes from timing, context, and attention.
And here’s the Zen-ish turn: even when the thought is gone, the space that noticed it is still there. That space doesn’t rush. It doesn’t panic. It doesn’t need the thought to justify itself. It was there before the thought arrived, and it will be there after the thought disappears.
You might call it awareness. Or consciousness. Or just “being here”. Or just this.
Names don’t really help. What helps is noticing, again and again, that the thoughts come and go, like the ocean — and something else does not.
You are not your thoughts. You are you. And if you really understand that, you’ve kind of got it made.
Anyway. Just something worth considering. This Zenish reflection brought to you by a random thought that came to me while I was driving 😃 Thoughts are temporary.
[Title photo generated by ChatGPT]
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David is an American teacher and translator lost in Japan, trying to capture the beauty of this country one photo at a time and searching for the perfect haiku. He blogs here and at laspina.org. Write him on Bluesky. |

@dbooster, this is gold! Nailed the vanishing "Eureka" frustration we all know too well—turns it into pure wisdom on awareness beyond thoughts. Love the sky metaphor and that fart distraction 😂.
Losing a thought feels frustrating, yet your sense of being persists unchanged, proving thoughts aren't essential to existence.Spot on 👍@dbooster .
Glad you enjoyed it 😃
Thanks! Your post really struck a chord—glad to spread the insight by reblogging! 🙌😃
100% YES, I had and have those life-changing thoughts that vanish and never return (never is a big word since what is lost we don't know if it came back another time, perhaps, perhaps not). The recording part, well, although I wanted this, it never really happened. At least, not for those true life-changing thoughts.
As many have (I guess), I have - almost - constant thoughts. Sometimes I direct them to something specific, at other times they are just random, and I let it flow. The best thoughts always comes when I am not able to record them. All good. Although when I try to solve things for e.g. work, I sometimes hate the fact I didn't record my thoughts. Feels such a waste of time when I have to sit in silence to try and think whatever it is, while I already had thoughts about it. But we can't do much other than 1) speak out loud our thoughts, and 2) constantly record ourselves. Throughout the day, I have tons of ideas for HIVE posts, many of them half-written in my head, and forgotten in a second. The temporary nature of thoughts, as you pointed out, is so true!
Someday we'll learn to write those thoughts down before we lose them 😂 Now that most smartphones have voice memo apps and perfect transcription, that helps. In fact, the first draft of this post was written that way.
Perhaps indeed, but I wonder how our thought process travels when we start to talk outloud. Perhaps this alters how we think? Donno, didnt try so far. I just know when I am angry with myself, I talk outloud to make a larger impact on my own self. Sometimes I talk outloud as well when I am executing something that truly needs my attention. Anyways, I am diverting 🙂
The thought isn't you. It comes and goes like the wind. Can you grasp the wind? Talking with yourself about it is trying to grasp it instead of just letting it come and go. It's not really altering anything, just giving you a little more of a chance to keep it around a while longer. Writing it down makes it easier to keep it around awhile longer, but even that won't keep it around forever, especially if you write it badly (a Seinfeld episode comes to mind), not in enough detail, or if you lose the note you write.
I understand what you try to say.
What I try to say is that changing our selves may work through our thoughts.
For instance, the older I get the more impatient I become. But this can be changed, by accepting that others may not understand me that easily, need more time to understand etc. Accepting that, results in not feeling impatient anymore, or at least a higher tollerance before becoming impatient.
Will this alter/change ourself indefinately? Am not sure about that, since I experienced myself that when I truly tell myself to be patient just before I enter into a conversation with someone who usually triggers me, I can accept more, be less impatient, accept the extra time I need and so on and so fort.
When I repeatedly do this, over time this becomes something that I handle better without thinking and 'programming' myself. But when I leave this like that, after some longer period of time, I may become more impatient again.
Long story, but I like to give you one of my experiences in which I think our thoughts can indeed result in (temporary) change to ourselves. How this phenomenon is called/known in Zen, I don't know 😉 Perhaps you do?
Regretfully I have these transient thoughts a lot with my cognitive issues. That's why I have to write (type) things out when they come to mind immediately or will forget them most likely. It makes for a bad habit of jumping out of bed in the middle of night when I have a thought that I like and want to not forget.
I think you have better habits than most. I'd waged most of us get an amazing thought, think something like "I should write that down. Hmm.. but there's no pencil handy. Ah, I'm sure I'll remember it" and then we instantly forget 🤣 I know that's me. If you are making a habit of forcing yourself to jot your thoughts down, you are ahead of the game. Luckily these days I always carry around a small notebook and force myself to write down random thoughts. Even then, I often don't.
I guess it is a good thing I do it, but its because my memory is shit town.
Wow! Those are random thoughts? That's deep!
Yes, I had a similar experience with interesting thoughts, and then something caught my attention, and then the thoughts disappeared. I could not recall them no matter what I do. That's where I see the importance of writing them down immediately while you still have the inspiration.
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Getting in the habit of writing your thoughts down is a great idea!
I am reminded of someone viewing the pen and paper as a capturing device.
Me encanto su reflexión, espero seguir leyendo mucho más de este tipo de contenido que crea.😊
Me alegra saber que lo disfrutaste. Gracias por leerlo.
I have ADHD, so this is a daily if not hourly occurrence for me! That's an interesting way to look at it though to consider the thoughts were never mine to begin with.
My favorite author's book: [Literature] Johann Gottlieb Fichte: The System of Ethics 3/193
@dbooster...
Wes...
