📜 CHAPTER 4 — SACRED MEMORANDUM: THE BLESSING OF SECRET

Preserved in the Apostolic Archives of the World Hydration Congregation.

Let the Throat Be Subdued. Let Thirst Be Commodified. Let SECRET® Be Praised.

Approved by: Supreme Saint Hydropontiff, CEO – Chief Evangelist Officer, SECRET® Church & Conglomerate

Memorandum No. 001 — Hydro-Sanctified Decree

By the authority of the Supreme Council of Commercial Water and under the benevolent oversight of the Department of Soul & Faucet Control,

It is decreed on this day that SECRET® beverage shall receive full ecclesiastical recognition as the Consecrated Liquid of Humanity.

Article I — Of the Sacred Henceforth, the consumption of SECRET® shall be deemed an act of faith and purification. Drinking SECRET® absolves the consumer of hydric sins and enrolls them in the Great Ledger of Indebted Consumers. Every drop sanctifies the throat; every sip redeems doubt.

Article II — Of Services All places of worship must install SECRET® dispensers beside every holy water font. Baptisms, confessions, and absolutions must be accompanied by a toast of SECRET® Classic—or, for the more devout, SECRET® Revolt® Limited Edition. Any faithful caught drinking unconsecrated water shall be excommunicated and retroactively billed.

Article III — Of the Clergy Priests of the Hydraulic Church (henceforth called Hydropontiffs) shall oversee the blessing of SECRET® shipments. Every Sunday sermon must include at least one sponsored scripture:

“And God said: Let There Be Thirst, and SECRET Fulfilled It.” (Book of Hydration 1:1)

Hydropontiffs shall receive a 15% rebate on monthly orders, provided they meet minimum conversion quotas by Thirst.

Article IV — Of Heretics Any individual who refuses the Blessing of SECRET® shall be guilty of Liquid Blasphemy. Punishments include:

Perpetual Thirst

Confiscation of all unauthorized water sources

Re-education via forced immersion in SECRET® pools (Original Flavor or Remorse Infused)

Article V — Of the Infinite Let it be known: All water is now the property of SECRET®—by divine decree, by state contract, and by popular submission. Every cloud, every raindrop, every tear is considered an advance on your subscription. No more crying without payment. No more sweating without royalties. No more breathing without thirst.

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Winners SECRET and ECU is

But before the distribution Why keep your ECU ?

The owner of this token has a project under development that you can follow; nothing is finalized yet.

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