It's Okay to Ask for Help

You know, I used to be this person that felt like asking for help was kinda somehow a sign of weakness , like, if you truly wanted something to be done, you just had to figure it out on your own, just hustle, sacrifice, carry it all, no matter how heavy it may be. Well, That was my mindset for a long time, I never liked being a burden, and I hated pity with everything in me.

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But in year 2023 life humbled me ,My dearest cousin was really sick. She had been battling kidney issues for a while, and things took a turn for the worse. I can still remember the day they had called and said she had kidney failure, It was like my ears stopped working for a second. I and my sister Jessy were just looking at each other in silence, not because we didn’t hear what they said, but because we didn’t even know where to begin.

So at first, we tried to handle it quietly. You know how we Nigerians can be , you don’t want to be the one bringing “bad news” to everybody or sounding like you’re always talking about problems do we were taking her for tests, buying medication here and there praying , trying to stay on top of everything ,But it quickly became clear that we could not keep up , The bills kept piling up, and the kind of treatment she needed was not small money at all.

It reached a point where we had to make a choice. either let pride hold us back or ask for help, And that’s when everything shifted for me.

I remember writing the first post asking for support here ,I was shaking while typing it. I kept deleting and rewriting it, second-guessing every sentence. What would people think? Would they even care? Would they ignore it? Would I be judged for putting personal matters out in public? , I called a friend asked her tooo on what she thought about the post, she gave her input too.

But in the end, I just clicked “Published”, and I just can’t explain the kind of relief that came with that one act , it was like I had finally dropped a bag I had been carrying for months.

Alot of People responded, Some gave money, some prayed, some just messaged to check up. Some didn’t even know my cousin personally, but they still reached out. I was so great , And I realized something very important in that moment that sometimes, people want to help they just need to know you need it.

As Nigerians, we sometimes wear suffering like a badge of honour. “I did it all by myself” sounds sweeter than “I had help along the way.” But truthfully, this life no be one man race. Carrying everything on your head doesn't make you strong I tell you it just makes you tired, real strength is knowing when to drop some of the load and let people hold your hand . Like that helps alot……

So We were able to get her some of the medication she needed. We ran tests. We tried, I mean, we really tried. And even though my cousin eventually passed, I still hold on to the fact that she didn’t suffer alone. We didn’t fold our arms and do nothing. We asked, and we tried. And in those final weeks, she knew that we loved her enough to do everything we could. That alone means everything.

Since then, I have looked at life differently, Now, when I need help, I speak ,Whether it is emotional support, financial help, or even just needing someone to listen , I just don’t bottle it all up anymore. I have learned that asking for help doesn’t make you less responsible or less capable. It just means that you are human.

Even as I am writing this now, I still think about her, her laugh, her resilience, how she kept encouraging those around her even while she was the one in pain . That kind of spirit doesn’t just disappear. It stays with you, reminding you of what truly matters.

Sometimes, we are placed in situations we cannot go on alone, no matter how strong we think we are ,And in those moments, reaching out can make all the difference not just for us, but for the people around us who care but don’t always know how to show it.

Also when someone asks you for help too, do not mock them, you just don’t question their pain, and don’t just act like they are e weak. Be kind ,Listen. Even if you cannot give them. money, your presence and your words might be the thing that carries them through the day.

I wish my cousin was still here , I wish things had turned out differently. But I am also grateful that we did not let silence win. We gave her the chance to fight, and we gave ourselves the chance to learn what it truly means to lean on each other.

You don’t have to do it all alone, Even if you’re strong, even if you’re the one people usually rely on , it’s okay to lean too. It’s okay to break down. It’s okay to say, “Please, I need help” , Because that is not weakness . It is courage.