RE: Dying of Thirst

hello @seki1. A challenging subject to write about. You work to get the reader into the heart and mind of your main character, John, so that we can feel the pain of his predicament. This story had the potential to hit home but needed to be edited to do so! It needed to be more tightly constructed, and better punctuated. The lack of punctuation, and repetition in some places made it a difficult read. There were also a few spelling errors that should have been picked up. You lost me when I encountered the inconsistency around how long John had been sober. It chopped and changed between 7 years and 7 months, and this was central to the story! In addition, the fact that they were going out to celebrate the manager's birthday but it seemed like inviting the manager was an afterthought? It just felt a little off in places. Proofreading and editing is an important part of the writing process. Don't underestimate it.

one even going out of the way to invite the manager