Learning to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
My topic these days is saying no without feeling guilty.Sometimes in our life, we should learn not to forget someone or the other at some point or the other in some state or the other. I had a habit. From school itself, since childhood, I was never able to say no to anyone. I was never able to say no to any friend or to anything, or to anyone the day after, due to which I have made many mistakes in my life. I have done many things which I probably should not have done. I have bought a lot of things that I probably do not need. But I am not able to say no. I should have said no. Later, I feel that it would have been better if I had said no because we feel like no. We and especially the thing that happens is with introverts because we are introverts, we are not able to say anything openly. We feel that the other person should not feel bad.
So that the other person does not feel bad, we agree with them. But when it comes to us, then anyone says anything to us and goes away and we are not able to do anything.A few days ago I had a fight with some friends. They said something wrong about me on this topic. But they made a group of people and kept saying something or the other about me because they know that I am right and they are wrong. But I could not say anything. I felt that what should I say. Why should I say it to them. My energy is getting wasted and I also felt that if I say something, you might feel bad. But for 1 second I felt that whatever these people say to me, I am also getting completely filled up, I should have said it. But I could not say it.
This is the thing that should be eliminated from within us every day. We are introverts, we are not able to speak much. We are not able to speak openly, those who know us, they know how we are but we could not be very expansive in front of those who do not know us. This is the thing that we should improve. We should talk openly about everything and anything. Actually we feel that we will do anything to our own people and tell them. You will not feel bad. They should not feel bad and we should talk nicely to outsiders so that they do not feel bad.But actually we should do the opposite. We should talk nicely to those who live with us like my mother, father, brother, boyfriend, husband, family members. We should talk after thinking and we can say anything to outsiders because we will not have to stand in front of them again. They are nothing to us. We do not have any relation with them, so we should take care of this thing very carefully.
We always do the opposite. Because of which we lose many relationships in our life, which are very good relationships. We should just learn to say no. When we go shopping or go to a shop to buy something, we do not know how to say no. We should refuse that thing saying that no friend I do not want this, then why should I, but whatever is there, we bring it. Later we keep thinking that friend I bought it. What should I do. We should improve this thing. We should learn to say the name without any hesitation.I too had a very bad habit. I could never say no to anyone. Maybe it was a good thing or maybe it was a bad thing. I have come here because of all these things. Because of the teachers, because of all this, my mother taught me that we should learn to say no to things that are wrong. What difference does it make to the other person if you say your name? It is not your fault because what is wrong is wrong, so if he gets angry on you saying no, then he can never be your friend. He is not your family member, he can never think good about you. If you say no.So we should learn to say no to what we like in life, what we don't want, what we don't want to do.
We should learn to say no to it. If someone is offering you a drink the day after tomorrow, if you don't want to drink, then say no to him. If you don't want to talk to someone the day after tomorrow, then say no to him. If you don't want to go anywhere with someone, then say no to him. You will have to learn to say no in your life. That too without killing anyone because guilt eats us up from within. Actually, it happens a lot with introverts because I was also an introvert earlier but now I have learnt to say no. I say no without feeling bad and I don't feel bad at all that I say no to the person in front of me because I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do all these things, so I will have to learn to say no at some stage in my life.
We should do the things that we don't want to do for our own sake, for our safety, for our happiness, we should not do them under pressure or because we can't say no. The other person will feel bad. Because of this we will not do that work. Lastly I would just like to say this. You cannot say no to them from these days. Please learn to say no, it will make your life very easy and please I am saying no for this. If your saying no will cause trouble to anyone or will anyone feel bad, then saying no is what you want to say. We should learn that in our life, the work which you do not want to do, you should not do that. Simple star thank you, we will meet tomorrow.
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JAI SHREE RAM
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Saying out our mind is never a bad thing.
Very true.
Thanks for the comment.
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