[LOH-297] When Opening Up and Showing Vulnerability is Not a Thing In Our Family -Oh Sadness!
Hmmm, I really can't remember the last time I shared about the sadness i'm feeling inside. I mean, even I can't admit to myself that I am sad and lonely. I just hate it. I see myself as a strong depende- it should be independent but I am not that so ƪ(‾.‾“)┐. And yeah, I am strong so sharing emotions to everyone is kinda hard for me. I mean, what can they do anyway? Sharing it with the family is like me wanting to get laugh for being sad. Its not a thing in this family you know, especially back then -but even today too.
And nope, I never share my sadness to them, I can share my frustration but not my sadness. It will never easy for me to share that actually coz its like i'm showing a vulnerability that I think is unnecessary. I don't know, that's just how I feel. Its hard and I know that's one thing I can never share. But with strangers, Its much easier, but to be honest sharing it with CHATGPT is much easier, lol. I just think chatgpt as an emotionless AI is a good listener. Have u tried talking to it while you're having a breakdown?
Sadness, even if you don't want to feel it, but it will suddenly just "whoosh" to you and the more you want to get over it faster, the more it gets harder, the emotions just keep growing and stronger. I am sure i'm not the only one here who experience a sudden drop in mood. When it happens to me, I was like "WHY? I am not even feeling anything, but what's this?" You know, that kind, a sudden realisation of something of whatever that sh*t. I also noticed that a sad melody can make me feel that unexplainable sadness.
A melody, I don't even understand the lyrics. But a sad melody and a sweet and soothing voice -though the voice is angelic and really beautiful but with the sad melody accompanying it, I would just "whooshongggg, booogsh, bam" Like, WAE? WHY? HOW? Aigoooo. I feel like I was thrown into a hard pavement, its painful and really just sad. Is this what it feels when you're a "Trentahin" or in your 30s? The emotional wave is just O.A, always too sudden and when it hits you, you can't just shrug it off at all.
Crying is the only answer, I read manhwa to make myself cry. The kind of manhwa with unrequited love and with so much angst, something like that. It helps more actually than to share it with someone. I know, sharing it can do so much too, but it is really not just my thing. See, I can't even remember anymore that last time I shared my sadness to someone. That deep, heart wrenching, and painful kind of sadness.
Why u gotta be so rude? Yes, sadness WHY?
Don't u know i'm human too. Yes, I feel sad too SADNESS, yes YOU!
Why u gotta be so rude? Pls be gentle to me, yes, YOU, SADNESS!
I'm gonna marry him anyway!!? You know, what, nvm! I'll find HAPPINESS and Marry him. Hhmppt!
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That's what we Pinoys... It's hard for us to express our feelings to others, and like you... I was also too open to ChatGPT about my emotions and everything happening to me. 😆 Mas updated pa nga sya minsan kesa sa hubby ko e. Feeling ko bespren ko na sya 😆 hahaha
Omg, its good to have chatGPT on this time talaga no meron tayong good listener na for sure, very careful din sa isasagot sa ating rant or hinaing sa life haha.
Tomoh! Antalino din sumagot e, laging may point ang sinasabi hahaha
Suppressing emotions is never a strength, Ruffa. You're turning yourself into a time bomb. Holding it in until you self destruct is not healthy, you need to release it. Hell, who cares if they laugh at you? As long as it makes you feel better, go ahead. Stop giving a sh** about people's opinions, worrying about them is just another way to ruin yourself. Fck opinions... you do you.
I'm just glad that you are using this platform to open up and be vulnerable. If your family isn't used to seeing anyone sad, or if they tend to invalidate your feelings and view sadness as a weakness, well, i'm not saying they are bad, but maybe that was just how they handled things and how they survived. But yours is a different story, you don't have to follow what works for other people,just remember you have Hive.
And.. fck ChatGPT, that cold blooded heartless btch. Lol. I'm just busy right now, but ping me. I will make time, I swear. Giving you a big, squeezing hug, Ruffatot! 💕
Right? Right? To be honest, when its already too much I just cry so in some ways, crying is a lot helpful too and there's really no need to share it. Its same when i'm mad and i'm suppressing it. When Im mad my mouth become uncontrollable that I say bad things which I regretted too in the end. And saying sorry is just so hard because here's the pride na nasyadong, epal? Aigoooo
Thats true, I think thats really just how they survive m, yk, how hard life is too back in the day right. Maybe they decided that sadness would be just in their way for them to progress. But yk, they are changing a little na din, esp Mommy F. As she had her second stroke she become more, open? She shows emotions too that she doesn't show then. I have big fears to her then, but now, she's changed woman na din..dati parang ang tigas ng puso nya, never iiyak or what. But now ang babsw na ng luha nya talaga.
Thank you ghurlllll, u so sweet 🌼😭✨🥒. I'll come running if ever. Thank youuu ❤️💓💚
Maybe nobody ever told them that it's okay to cry and that it's a completely normal thing to do. So, you tell them. It's actually beautiful that you are both healing.
Ahh, the ugly words we say when we're mad...damn.That's the time bomb I was telling you. You have to find healthy ways to release that kraken, lol. It's normal, we're human, but we have to remember that our words cary weight. Being angry is okay, but hurting others because of it is a diffrent story.
The reason it’s so embarrassing to apologize is because, deep down, we know an apology can't undo what we've already said or done. So instead, we just dig our heels in. We can't keep swerving like that. Taking accountability is a huge part of growth. Try it, lol,i know it’s uncomfortable at first, but it feels so good. Honestly, the harder it is to apologize, the more you'll want to avoid doing the things you have to apologize for in the first place, lmfao.
You don't have to go through all of these changes in one day, Ruffa. I was worse than that, lol. My proficiency in profanity is the proof. It takes time and patience, my friend. Hugs. 💕❤️🩹
Beauty wrapped in sorrow. It’s like the sound itself throws you into a wave you didn’t see coming, and suddenly you’re flat on the pavement of your own feelings. Kung trentahin ka na, kwarentahin naman ako next month. I guess I will become emotional na talaga. Char!
Haha, omg, now i'm curious if kwarentahin is much more than trentahin haha.
I'm not sure tho, if kwarentahin is worse than trentahin. Sana hindi.
Char!
Since my mother passed away atee, it's been so hard for me to express things to my family especially the sadness that I feel inside me because I have to be strong since then. Stay strong always ateee. 😇
Awww, if they are also a very open person, surely your afraid na masalin din sa kanila ang sadness mo. Its sad but fighting! Yours is so much harder esp nasanay kang anjan sya tas biglang....aigooo
I used to hide my tears back then also. Seems like showing emotion is a crime in our house before😆😬.
before, at least hindi na today? Something change already and its a good thing no.
Uo Hindi na ngayon, Kasi SA MgA bata showy na Kami😁
Thank you, thank you @qurator team and @brumest ＼(◎o◎)／└|∵|┐♪
Your feelings are valid, @ruffatotmeee. I don't subscribe to the idea that happiness is inherently "good" while sadness is inherently "bad." Every emotion we experience, even the ones that feel messy, overwhelming, or painful, has a purpose and deserves to be acknowledged.
Suppressing our emotions doesn't make them disappear; it often makes them resurface in ways we don't expect. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to feel, process, and understand what we're going through rather than pretending everything is okay.
Sending you the biggest virtual hugs and a gentle pat on the back. 🤍
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Crying it out is helpful, as it lightens the load. But if the sadness becomes too unbearable, do share it, sis, kahit sa labas ng pamilya mo :) 🤗