Real Friends Respect a “No,” Fake Ones Don’t
Nowadays, people are very adept at getting their own work done. They'll pretend to be nice to you and get things done without you realizing it. You'll only realize it much later, and you'll feel bad. People often do the same thing to others. They're better off focusing on their own interests. Once you've done their work, they break off their friendship and all other relationships. Therefore, it's crucial to learn a certain standard in life. It's how to say no. This is something you're taught based on your circumstances and your interpretation. It's crucial; especially when you can't get something done, or you have to work unnecessarily, saying no is a great option.
Often many people are afraid to say the name because they feel that people will gossip. We might hurt the other person with our feelings, or what will the other person think if we don't say it? We are very much involved in this, and the other person thinks that we are a very rude person, or they wonder how we said no, or they think that we are afraid of getting rejected. Then all this is very normal, but not dangerous. You are not that selfish towards the person in front of you. No one can control our life. Slowly, slowly keep building it. You should keep in mind from the beginning that you can never get any work done within my foundation and you should never overwork. If you never even thought about what the other person will think for someone, it will be decided in your life.
There's a great story about this: When I was in school, I had a friend named Swagat who would talk sweetly to me. He would bring me food, and he would slowly make me do his homework. He would make me write all his homework. He would write it for a good friend because he wasn't interested in studying properly. Gradually he started becoming a bully, saying, "How can you say no to me?" You always get my work done. That's why I learned this when he said that I never said no to him. It was my mistake too that I never said no to him, and this is a big thing—I should have said no to him from the beginning. I should have set my boundaries. Then he did this. If I say no, then I will break the friendship, but later I understood that he was never your friend.
When you say yes to someone, then indirectly you are giving your precious time to the other person. Your energy, whatever you can use in your life. You are sacrificing all your energy, your work, and your priority to the other person, so what will you get from it? If he is not close to you, then you should definitely do it. But such a person you do not care about; if you do not want to do it that much, it is not friendship but for him. Doing it is a very useless thing. Therefore, always do it for those people in life who are close to you and who also do your work; you can also do their work, but not to take it from those who get work done from you only on one hand.
It's crucial to create boundaries around yourself. Whenever you meet a friend or any other person, create a boundary around yourself that's good for you, because this will make the other person understand that it's difficult to get things done. They'll automatically back off. If a friend wants you to do something pointless, or something illegal, or something you don't feel is right, don't speak up directly, because you should set your own boundaries. You should understand whether something is dangerous or not, right, so don't tell them directly that you can't do it. What will happen? You'll put your self-respect first.
And many people think that saying no is a route, but now I understand that saying no is self-respect because when you say no, then you know your limits. You know your boundaries. You respect them. You give priority to your time, to your work, and to your things. You value your energy. You should also like yourself so that even if this is not there, I can still move on from my life, and boundaries should start by saying no to that. Because there is a thing from which if you go out, then your service factory will get spoiled and nothing else will happen.
Lastly, I will say that if you want to live this life and live in this world, then you will have to learn to say your name. You will have to learn this always. Why? Because when you say no to anyone else and when you do not let anyone come inside your boundaries, to a certain extent, many strange things happen in your life because you learn all those things and get out of all those things. Whenever you do not forget anyone, do not think that he will feel bad. Think that you should remove him from that thing and kill him. If someone asks you to do something illegal or asks you to do something that will cause you a lot of problems in life, then you should learn not to forget. You should say no because later on it will cause you problems. Never give priority to anyone over yourself in life. It will be your mistake then.
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