Mirrors, Monologues, and Missed Chances
In childhood, everyone had a dream of becoming a hero when they grew up. Whatever it may be, I want to become a pilot, a doctor, a cricketer and I also had a similar dream of becoming an actor. Those film heroes who come on the scene, take care of everyone and today when I remember them, I smile as well as feel a little scared because dreams should not only be seen. They should also be lived. I was small.
When I was about 6 or 7 years old, I would turn on the TV and start a movie, then sit quietly in front of the screen, watching the actor and i used to think that he was a hero he has everything. Confidence, style, and, most importantly, the presence that leaves such a mark. As soon as the movie ended, I used to stand in front of the mirror immediately. Sometimes I had to speak a film dialogue. Sometimes I used to exchange scenes. Mummy used to laugh. He will become a hero, and I used to think that from her words, and I would get more excited.
Whenever there was a drama competition in school, I always used to be a part of it and i used to get the prize for the best actor every time. I used to get a lot of medals. I used to feel like a star among my friends. My teachers also used to say that I act very well. These things used to motivate me. Gradually, acting became my passion, but I used to look for something new in my role. Dreams are never real but in expression.
When I grew up a bit in 10th standard, then the committee-type questions started. He is thinking of acting but what will he do with his studies, nothing will happen with this. One day Papa said, Son, there is no future in acting. Just think of something solid. That day for the first time I felt that my loved ones do not understand my dreams. Maybe they were afraid of failure, struggle and questions of understanding.
Once I gave a solo performance in a college fest. That too, I remember Shakespeare's dialogues and for the auditions people were not stopping to send prepared forms. That day I felt that maybe my dream was not that useless. Maybe I could have left acting but I don't want that kind of leave. In the real world when everything seems like a dream then one has to make a career.
I joined a corporate job. Office deadlines and meetings became a routine of life. I got stuck in that same Log phone in which everyone is very busy and has a hobby called active sim. Every Monday I feel as if I should give up on life. Then every Friday I feel that this stage may become even more difficult and I should be allowed to leave from here as well.
Then one day I saw a short film on YouTube in which a 40-year-old man had acted and seeing that journey brought tears to my eyes because it felt very personal and it was then that I realised that the time of a dream is not fixed. The next day the passion started, but that dream could never be fulfilled because I believe that only that dream can be fulfilled which you can do.
Now I did not have the capability as I had the support of my family. That night I decided to give a chance to my childhood dream. But I could not do that. I used to go to workshops every weekend. I used to act, but it did not seem that exciting to me and because of the fatigue of office, working in a radio station was not possible for me.
Today I have made small videos for acting. I share them on social media. I also give auditions. People tell me whenever I get a chance. Now I will do acting in future. I say that I have a permit to dream. Since when did I become a singer? As long as I am alive, I should dream. Whether the childhood dream is fulfilled or not, if you live that dream and keep it alive, then life does not seem boring.
My story is also of those people who wanted to become something at times but could not become something due to the pressure of the world and lack of support from parents. Pick up that dream, connect it, find that path and then start looking at yourself with your eyes again and again because, in the end, the real fun of life is only when you are on that path that your heart desires, I want my childhood dream to go to Bollywood. But keeping it alive, learning and drinking, this is enough.
THANKS FOR STOPPING
RANJAN02
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