The Fragile Psychology of Perfectionism and Overthought
Sometimes while lying on our bed in the dark of night, we think about something that may not seem important to anyone else. Still, for us, that small thing becomes a big storm and on thinking about it again and again, we look around at every aspect, fear the future, worry about the future, and confusion about the present. What thinking and the strangest thing is that if we think that we are solving something, but in reality we are entangling ourselves even more.
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Overthinking has become such a habit that it makes a person tired from within and makes a small problem so big in the mind that it feels like turning on the watch and thinking so much about a small line, someone's expression, late reply to someone's message, etc. that the real happiness of life is lost and it is not that people who overthink are fine, rather they are more sensitive and deeply connected to everything and maybe that is why every thing starts ringing in their mind.
Everything should be perfect, every relationship, every decision, every moment, and in search of this perfection we start thinking about every possibility. What will happen if this happens and what will be the loss if this does not happen this thought never ends and there comes a time in this thinking. When we just start thinking that we forget to live and there was a time when we could not sleep the whole night and if someone's mood was a little off then we used to think whether I have done something wrong and when someone's reply did not come then it used to feel that maybe now he is avoiding me and till we do not get confirmation, till then guilt and anxiety remain big inside and later we understand that over thinking is not just a time consumer. It sometimes destroys our emotions.
The real joy of life is only when we live every moment in simplicity and overthinking pushes this simplicity to the edge of the pyre and the moments of happiness we have, we start finding some negative in them too and maybe this is why people say that you think too much and they do not know that when thinking starts, it stops being controlled and it becomes an automatic process. As if the mind is roaming in its world without stopping.
Have you ever thought what is the biggest side effect of overthinking and how it slows down our decision-making and creates so much doubt about everything that we lose trust in ourselves losing this trust is the most dangerous because when a person doubts himself then how will he grow and instead of becoming our own biggest supporters, we become our biggest critics?
People often say, relax and let it go. Don't think so much and it is easy to say but not to do and once the process of thinking starts, every thought gives birth to another thought and this chain never ends and someone reveals one thing to you and then that water does not stop and the hard drop falls in the form of a new doubt, a new fear, a new assumption.
And this working has the biggest impact on our mental health and anxiety, depression, all these become friends of overdoing and we start thinking of something or the other all the time, then the mind is not able to rest for long and if stopped, it not only becomes physical but also reaches the mental. It is more dangerous than that and reaches the brain. Then our emotions also stop. Motivated work happens and a list of things starts appearing and sometimes it feels as if only there was a button in the mind that would stop thinking by pressing it, but the reality is not like that. We are not able to understand ourselves. We have to apply discipline and train our thoughts, and it does not happen in a day, but it is possible.
A small exercise that I learned is whenever a thought comes to mind repeatedly, write it down, and as soon as you write it down, the mind feels that the thought is safe and it does not need to go back to it again and again and this is the magic of journaling and as soon as we write the thoughts on paper, it goes away from us and one more thing that I noticed when we start living in the present moment, overthinking reduces. Android is the root of thinking. There is the present or the future, but being fully involved in the present means accepting the movement and feeling it. Whenever we listen to music, laugh, and joke with a friend, or just sit under the open sky, our mind relaxes.
There is no shortcut to get out of overthinking, but one thing is certain, just awareness and we start to understand what we are thinking, why we are thinking, and whether this thinking is important to us, then we slowly start to come out of the slow pole and overthinking is a trap. It is a trick in which we get trapped and to get out of it we just have to hold the hand of compassion. Forgive every mistake. Accept every situation and be patient with yourself. All this is very important and be friends with the mind. Don't be an enemy of it and whenever we start considering our thoughts as enemies, then they become more powerful.
If you are going through overthinking today, just remember this. You are not alone. NDA is such a journey where everyone has to give up at some point or the other, and the way out of this journey is within you, and talk with emotions. Don't do that judo and consider gold and silver just a bed visitor, you come, talk, and go away, and than taking life love overly seriously, it is better to keep it light, smile, dance a little, make mistakes, learn and live that when we are life of life, you have a new chance to replace every gold with love. The time has come to overtake overthinking slowly, gently, lovingly.
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