Friendships and Boundaries:A Two-Way Street

If you ask me, the worst part of being in a relationship, especially a long distance one has to be when your partner has a best friend of the opposite gender you don’t know. In the era, and in Ghana where i come from, people attribute having best friends while in a relationship to many things. We have seen how so called best friends end up having sexual relationships with each other while one or both parties are in a relationships. It’s more like friends with benefits.

These days, I always say that having a best friend who doesn’t have sexual feelings for you or is not a threat to your relationship is such a blessing. I’ve had most guys I’ve come across tell me they will never allow their girlfriend to have a male best friends because guys know what guys are capable of doing. It’s just a few people out there that actually have good intentions but as for the rest, only God can tell.

Personally, one thing I make sure to do if I’m in a relationship is to let my partner know my friends. Even if they do not end up being friends, my partner should at least have a fair idea of who my friends are and vice versa. I really hate to have my partner feel insecure about my friends and I also don’t want my friends to feel I have neglected them now that I’m in a relationship.

Normally, your parter should be your number one friend and even best friend, that’s if you’re serious about them . But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a life outside of your relationship. You had a life and friends before you got into a relationship or even married and that shouldn’t stop. But, once you’re in a relationship or even married, there are some boundaries you have to set when it comes to your friends. I believe that if your friends are wise, they would totally understand when you take a step back to focus on your relationship or marriage.

A thoughtful friend would know that you’ve found someone you love and you are trying to build a life with them and so they would spare you the drama when they find out you’re not investing all your time in them anymore. But, once you start having no time for your friends, that’s something to worry about. Personally, I make sure to set a clear line between my love life and my general life. There’s no way I’m going to allow anyone come between my partner and I.

I don’t mind my partner having friends but, there should be boundaries. As a man, why are you even having a female bestie? Am I not enough for you? Well, everyone is different so I can spare him the drama until I sense something fishy. Women always sense things from miles away and they know when to act. In a situation where I smell fishes around , I’m just going to have to borrow that new gun @abenad just bought. Let’s all be guided.

all images belong to me.