Caring Too Much: A Struggle I Didn’t Know I Had.

One thing I’ve come to realize about myself — and honestly, it’s been hard to fully accept — is how much I care about what people think or say about me. I used to believe I didn’t. In fact, I would tell myself all the time that I’m not the type of person who gets affected by other people’s opinions. But deep down, I think I always did — I just didn’t want to admit it.

This realization didn’t come all at once. It hit me gradually, especially after a conversation I had with someone I once called a friend. They told me something that caught me completely off guard — they said I was the kind of person who doesn’t like helping others but always expects help when I need it. At first, I tried to play it cool and brush it off like it didn’t bother me, but the truth is, those words stuck. It hurt. I kept replaying that moment in my head, asking myself, “Is that really how people see me?” I started to question whether I’d unknowingly been that kind of person. And I even found myself talking to myself about it — trying to defend my character to, well, myself.

Then, there was another time in school that made this even clearer to me. I wore a shirt I had worn a few times before, and someone — half-joking, half-serious — pointed it out. They said something like, “Isn’t that Juwon? I could tell just from the shirt.” he actually did laugh it off, but me? I smiled on the outside, but on the inside, I started spiralling. I began thinking, “What if others have also noticed this and just never said anything?” The whole day, I kept looking around, wondering if people were silently judging me. It sounds small, but it got to me in a big way.

These kinds of moments made me realize how deeply people’s words could affect me, especially when they come from someone I care about or respect. A joke, a comment, or a simple observation can live in my head for days — even weeks. And that’s when I knew it had become more than just casual sensitivity. I was letting people’s opinions shape how I saw myself.

It’s not easy to admit, but I now know that I’ve been carrying the weight of other people’s thoughts for too long. And the more I let it control me, the more I drift away from who I really am. That’s not the life I want. I don’t want to keep living in fear of judgment or constantly explaining myself just to feel accepted. I want to be free — to live honestly and comfortably in my own skin.

So yes, I care too much about what people think. But now that I know, I’m learning to draw that line — between growing through self-awareness and shrinking because of self-doubt. And that, to me, is a good place to start healing.

Thanks for reading.

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