Let it (past) go

Life is an unpredictable journey. There is no way to ensure the lifespan of one, but on average, the journey of life is not so short. One needs to go through a lot of things in this journey. In this journey, we gain something, and we lose something. Several times we need to leave things behind. It can be intentional or unintentional, but there are always reasons for it, and that's the way life continues.

I am an ordinary person, and at the present time I am 27 years old, and during that time I left behind many things in my life. Are you curious to know what those are? Why have I done it? What was the impact of it? I know there are many questions like that, but don't worry, I am going to share my thoughts that will satisfy your curiosity.

Friendship is one of the most beautiful and precious bonds for us. Without friends, life would be boring for sure. In the case of friendship, I am always serious. I became friends with anyone after thinking a lot, and most of the time, I made good friends. But at the present time, I am disconnected from many of them. In this digital world, connecting with them is not a problem. But I don't call them. I think with time, friendship faded away. There is no exact reason. Let me share an example of it. When I was in class 9, I had a best friend. He used to live in the same building as me. He used to discuss studies, go for a walk, and enjoy time together every day. Whenever I was outside of home, I watched with him. In that time, I never thought that we could stay far from each other for a long time. After 2 years, his family moved into another apartment. The first year it was not an issue, but when I was admitted to college, I had very little time to spend with anyone because academic pressure was huge. At the beginning, I used to meet him, but I also met some people in college, and giving everyone time was the most difficult thing. I became busier with my studies, and communication decreased with time. It was the same for him also, and after a certain time, communication almost stopped. We reunited again because both of us got the opportunity to be admitted to the same university, but in different departments. During the gap, both of us made separate friend circles. We still meet sometimes and talk to each other, but I don't get the magical feeling of friendship. Our discussion is like that between two classmates. In rare cases, we communicate. I don't dislike anything about him, but the friendship faded away. I think time and distance created the gap. I think it's possible to catch up if we want, but I don't want to make any manual approach. Sometimes I also feel it is shocking because of why it turned out like that.

It's the nature of humans to think about bad incidents again and again. It seems most of us love to hurt ourselves by continuously thinking about our past or dark memories. In my case, my childhood was not so good. I do not have so many things to remember about childhood, and I don't want to go back to my childhood time anytime, as I don't think there was anything good for me in that time, but I have many stories that make me think that I missed many things as a child and was treated unfairly many times. Today, after going up, I used to think about those memories. Thinking about it makes me angry and sad at the same time. But I don't know (maybe I know) why, when I was in class XI, my thoughts changed a lot. My thoughts started to change from earlier, but the significant change occurred at that time. I figured out there is no benefit to thinking about the first or remembering the dark past. I stop thinking about the past and let it go, and I don't allow it to hurt me anymore. I don't care about my past and have left it behind. It happens when I think I have done it to make me strong, and not to suffer thinking about the past. Maybe it can also be for making myself happy. Whatever it is, it's good for me.