Hard to accept the reality

"Life is very simple, and it's like a straight line." I just try to believe it because thinking about life in that way can help me not to be stressed about life. How we think about life is very important, and the mindset of thinking simply can make things easier for us, but still, I must say that life is not so simple, even if we think about it as a straightforward one. We need to go through the complexities of life. Ups and downs in life, we need to face them, and sometimes we need to struggle for them.

In life, there exist many setbacks, but some setbacks hurt us badly and make us unstable. I'm sure you're amazing in everyone's life like that, and in my case, that's the same. But I think one incident affected me badly, and I can still remember it. Let me share about the incident.

I think the incident that hurt me badly may not be so serious for many people because not everything is equally important for everyone. At that time, I was a student at an intermediate level, and it was a crucial point in my life because the intermediate level exam is most important for a student's career in my country's education system. My memorizing power was not so good, but because of my continuous effort, I always managed to secure the top position, and it made me a proud student, and it was quite natural.

I knew that I had made you ignore me; only doing my best in the study could be the best thing to cover up my other weakness. I was like a human robot when it was for my studies, especially when at the intermediate level. Will you believe me if I tell you that I used to sit in front of my channel for more than 18 hours a day? In that time, I thought sleeping six hours meant a lot, and later I reduced my sleeping hours to five. That means I invested a lot in my studies, and I didn't lack dedication. I was so serious that I missed most family functions, gatherings, reunions, and other things, thinking that those would impact my study. I ignored many beautiful and precious moments of my life because of it. To be honest, I didn't regret it while making such a decision, even after that.

After getting the result of the intermediate exam, it was good, but it is not an excellent one for which I made so much effort. Hearing about the result, I couldn't believe it, and I thought there was something wrong with it. I was very good at calculation and prediction, and in the case of the result, it was beyond my calculation or prediction. Found that day, I felt like I was just a good student from the average category. It was indeed very hard to believe for me. I felt that all the effort I gave to study was in vain. I felt I would make that result even if I didn't make such a kind effort. My investment's tough time became a lost project for me. At the time, I started to regret missing many beautiful moments of life.

I didn't cry, but inside of me there was a cyclone, and my mind was trying to refuse to accept the reality. I was preparing for the university admission exam, but after the result, my mind was disturbed, and I couldn't focus on studying for several months. In the last month before the admission exam, I forced myself to give a finishing touch as I invested much effort in the exam also. I got the chance to apply to almost all the top public universities of my country, but I was admitted to one that was in my district, which also belongs to the top five universities of my country. The scars of the result of the intermediate level were intact, and it almost changed my personality and converted me from an introvert to an extrovert. In my university life, especially my first year, I was somehow different from my true self. Maybe it was the result of my regret for my past actions. Later, I realized I needed to suffer a loss more compared to the benefit if I remained an extrovert. Within a few years, I managed to balance my personality.

Although the result of the intermediate level was a shock for me and changed my personality, it was good for me. I learned to balance, and after that time, I tried to give more value to my emotions, which I had ignored earlier, and regretted it.