Stalin Goes to Hollywood: The Tâmpa Hike

Cheeky, huh? That Hollywood-style sign above Brasov, one of the fanciest places to go skiing in Romania. A must-take-a-selfie spot for all the Instagrammers, preferably with a cup of steaming vin fiert, mulled wine from the nearby restaurant, which is at the cable car station. Mountains made easy. Jump on a gondola, take all the photos your followers long for, make all those mandatory kitschy edits that make them look just perfect for anyone without even a hint of taste (or perhaps anyone who hasn’t been out in the past few years and just spent that time scrolling their newsfeeds) while taking the ride back. One down, a couple more touristy must-sees on your list to tackle and then catch your flight back home.

Except, that won’t be fun at all. And I don’t even have Instagram. Fortunately, there’s the other option. The sludgy, slippery, bear-raided one. As one of the most brilliant minds in history once wrote, it is further, but to make up for it, the road is worse. Yes, he was Czech. And yes, indeed it was further and worse. A ton of fun!

Oh, I still owe you the Stalin bit. Well, back in the less fortunate days for this nook of Europe, Brasov was renamed Stalin City (Orașul Stalin). And to make the townspeople remember that for all eternity, they planted spruce trees among broadleaf trees above the city to spell Stalin. If it weren't so absurd, it would be a pretty neat idea.

via outdoor-events.ro

It seems that the locals kinda embraced the idea of having signs above Brasov. And to remind everyone that the good old name (not the original one though, you’ll have to read my city-roaming post for that) is back, they’ve put up a Hollywood-style sign some 350 meters above the old town. And a funicular.

Not really sure about using pepper spray against furious bears as this sign suggests, but perhaps they prefer their prey a tad seasoned. Anyway, deviations are strictly forbidden.

I generally fail at capturing how steep my hikes sometimes are. This route snakes under the funicular which gains over 300 meters of elevation in less than 500 meters. Do the math. Climbing up from the old town takes some 90 minutes. This route was quite crowded considering the season and weather (as in “we met some other freaks, and even people running without being chased by a bear”), as it is marked on most maps. Not the most beautiful one to take, but at least it offers a bunch of views over the city when it crosses the funicular cut.

The viewpoint by the sign was quite crowded, and gosh, taking a good selfie takes time, apparently! Curiously, almost nobody continued to the actual peak some 20 meters higher, which offered even better views and a stone throne that would enchant the Instagram mobs.

As going down the same main trail would be dull, we took a scenic route only included on outdoorsy maps, and we had it to ourselves. Perhaps if the ruins of a fortress were something more than just a hole… which allegedly used to be a well.

Anyway, this path resembled Alpine routes, and for a reason. The Carpathians and Alps are basically siblings of the same origin and age. There are differences, yet mainly at higher altitudes, and this hike only took us to the foot of the Carpathians. We could still see snow-topped peaks from afar though.

The descent was smoother and faster, although we had to traverse a short bit of an unmarked trail (still 100% bearless, though!), and soon we arrived back in the city, eager for bookstores (being the bookworms we are), dinner and beer. But that’s another tale.

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