Then and Now Parenting Styles

If my mother gives you signs with eye contact or body language, and you ignore them, you will explain why you intentionally disobeyed and embarrassed her🤣 My children understand these languages perfectly, they dare not lose guard🥺 We know, it is God who nurtures, but we should try to fulfil our own paths as parents honourably. I am a disciplinarian as well as a loving and sweet mother.

I've been reflecting on how parenting styles have evolved, and I believe we've finally gone wrong in many aspects. It seems to me that parenting has deteriorated from what it once was. Parenting styles in the 80s, 90s, and even in the early 2000s can never be compared to what we have now. Could it be that technology has created more challenges for parents today than it did in the past when the internet was nonexistent?

In the earlier days, parenting was characterized by strictness, clear rules, and discipline. Today, the so-called modern approach centers on the child rather than the parent, with terms as Gen Z children, the Internet Age, and the AI Generation coming into play. While this modern approach may encourage parent-child relationships now than before and enhance emotional intelligence and social interactions, we should not forget that it also brings drawbacks that seem to outweigh the benefits.

For instance, how is it that a secondary school student can bring a girlfriend home to sleep over, right under the noses of their parents? How is it that a girl child can spend days outside her home without any consequences from her parents? In past decades, such behavior would have never happened under a strict upbringing. Who does that? A female child cannot come to my house anyhow, let alone a male child🤷 It is so disheartening!

I choose to raise my children in the same way I was brought up—as an indoor child who wouldn’t dream of going to someone’s house for any reason, let alone spending the night there. Obeying household rules was paramount in our house. A neighbor recently remarked on how my husband and I manage to keep our children close to home, even when we are not home; they rarely play outside unless we are supervising. I simply explained that they emulate our behavior as their role models. Children pick up whatever behavior from home because home is their first school, and the parents are their first teacher.

In contrast, my neighbor lamented that her children lack discipline, going to school whenever they please and playing in the streets from morning until night, returning only when they’re ready to sleep. The absence of discipline in her house is obvious. I smiled and told her she should be strict and they will change🤣 These children will be at home and their Dad will be sweeping, fetching water🤷 Ah! Discipline and good upbringing are missing👌

Today's parenting styles seem to lack respect, manners, and courtesy, essential traits that were emphasized in the past. I still find it difficult to speak disrespectfully to my parents, despite being a mother myself. Yet, contemporary parenting sometimes overindulges children, enabling them to talk back freely and misbehave in public, including at school. Some children don't greet their parents, and they see nothing wrong with their upbringing. It is shameful!

The current parenting nowadays feels disheartening, as many parents seem dependent on their teenage children to support and feed them, they throw them on the street to hustle at an early age, raising concerns about whether they understand right from wrong. So many cases in the schools often explain this troubling reality from a cultured child and a non-cultured child. A lot of children who are supposed to be in school are neither hawking nor doing daily jobs to support their parents

It appears that child-rearing has become so problematic that it seems children are now raising children. This observation suggests that some parents may not be fully mature enough to take on the responsibility of parenthood. Therefore, nowadays, parenting has become worse compared to what we had in the past.

Before I drop my pen, remember this: Train up a child the way he should go is a reminder to all parents to guide and lead their children on the right path.

All images are mine.

This is my participation in the #hivenaija community contest.