Family Time at the Holidays

Our middle son and daughter — both of whom live and work in the Seattle area — have been spending the weekend with us.

They are both in their mid-30s now, and we don't see them all that often, anymore... naturally, they have "lives of their own."

Whereas we love them being here, Mrs. Denmarkguy and I also have noticed how much we have grown to enjoy having our own schedule and our own space... I guess that's also part of the process of parents aging.

When I think back to my own growing up, the family wasn't really that close, although the siblings of my dad's generation made a point of continuing a tradition of "Children's Sunday," which meant gathering for dinner once a month.

Although the name might suggest otherwise, the gatherings were about the adult children (siblings)... not the actual children of the time. We did come along, but were expected to entertain ourselves somewhere...

Christmas was different, though... we pretty much had hot and cold running visitors almost every day from a couple of days before Christmas to a couple of days after New Year's.

My mother — being rather a social butterfly — loved the entertaining, while my dad would just as well be left alone to forget the whole thing. The impression I got was that "family stuff" — for him — felt a lot more like an obligation than a thing you did for enjoyment.

That said, he did rather dutifully "saddle up and show up" for everything that was going on. Of course, he loved all the good food as much as anyone, so that was good motivation for him, even though he'd just as well not have to engage with his 18-year older brother. They did not see eye-to-eye.

In general, I'd have to admit that I did not know up with any close family ties, and that was definitely not improved by my parents' divorce, and my mom and I subsequently going to live in another country with the man I cam to think of as my stepdad, after my dad passed away when I was 18.

He was somewhat estranged from his own sons, and thought of the whole Christmas thing as something close to "bah-humbug" and generally just a thing that cost lots of money and offered very little in return.

It was one of the strange dichotomies about my mom and his relationship I never quite understood: They were polar opposites on the "social scale" as far as keeping company vs. being alone. But hey, they made it work, and it worked a lot longer than the 18 years my actual parents were married.

Mrs. Denmarkguy and I consider ourselves blessed that our kids actually seek us out, and voluntarily choose to come and visit from time to time. I hear all too many stories of families where parents and adult kids only see each other once a year... if that.

Oooops... I'm actually guilty, there. Granted, my mom lived in Spain and I in the USA, but we still only saw each other once every couple of years or so during her final years. But so it goes, when you live on different continents.

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great Holiday Week!

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Created at 2024.12.23 00:36 PST
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