The unfulfilled to_ do list, crying for help.

Being an undergraduate in this part of the world can be very competitive. If not for anyone or anywhere but for my school and my department. Which all looks like a small village with people of different Caliber.
As a students, in my department, it's either you let studies swallow you or you swallow the studies. So two things are involved so you have to choose one.
And in university as a whole, I will advise anyone to discover themselves or be under a proper guidance. Cause it's either you Influence the people around you or they influence you.

As a fresher I was terrified with words I hear, like... the failure of some courses, senior colleagues will be telling, and the difficulties of some courses.
As a beginner, still trying to catch up and as an anti social person that I was. I find it hard to make friends with the senior colleagues inorder to take past questions and notes from them.

After the first semester, and the results was released, although it was better but I wasn't satisfied with it.
So the next semester, I made up my mind that I will try and be social so I can get past questions and notes from senior colleagues. I decided to put on a plan, to make sure I study ahead of the lecturers.
I started it the first week of resumption, not until second week I started feeling reluctant, as of I have made it. So everyday, I kept on pushing and pushing until exams period. I mean, I set a reading timetable so as to help me read accordingly. But it never worked, i started looking for excuses within myself. One of it was that I didn't have the course materials. But that wouldn't have stopped me because I had my phone and the course outline. That would have helped me brows. But I kept procrastinating until exams periods. By then it was already too late, and there was nothing that could be done, rather than stocking my brain with loads of books to summarise what they used three months to teach.

After that semester, I looked at my to-dos list and I could feel this disappointing look on his face.
I felt bad, that i actually didn't pay attention to the to do list.