The Rise of Nonchalance: The Death of Passion

I came across a video of a woman that made me really think, in that video she said " Nobody is yearning any longer, everybody acts like they don't care any longer and the rise of this nonchalance is the death of passion". When I heard this I couldn't agree more but I was baffled when did we agree that not caring is a flex, that it is wrong to like things because it is cringe, or that showing emotions is weak, or that it was wrong to care or show excitement.

No one wants to be rejected again, no one wants to show interest first, text first, leave double text because the person did not reply, and it's sad. Everyone is losing passion because the fear of rejection and abandonment. The thing I find very funny is that most of this nonchalant stuff is coming off as phychological tactic. The best way for anyone to get attracted to you is by ignoring them but giving them just enough to come back. I find this so funny why would I be attracted to someone that shows little to no interest in me, I would literally forget you.

At first glance nonchalance looks like power; you are untouchable, nothing really bothers you, it doesn't matter if it's good news or bad you give the same dry reaction. You've mastered the art of detachment and sometimes it feels nice to have this kind of control in an overwhelming world. But even though you put on the masks of nonchalance deep down you care a lot but you don't want someone to see you caring, you don't to look uncool, you don't want anyone to know that the situation really affected you, you just want to look like you are in control.

Sometimes it's not just to look cool. To some people it's protection, a defence mechanism to avoid embarrassment, rejection, heartbreak and vulnerability. If you never show hurt, no one can call you weak, If you never show interest, you can’t be rejected, If you never show excitement, no one can laugh at you for “trying too hard", so you take nonchalance as a protection and very soon this shield will turn to walls and instead of protecting it will cut you off from the world entirely.

Prentending not to care is actually called suppressing your emotions. You act cool but it's all a facade. Suppressed feeling don't disappear they pile up and show up as burnout, stress, or even physical pain and tension and would spill out when you least expect; like crying or bursting out over a little thing. Although nonchalance has its upsides. Not being dragged into unnecessary drama or staying calm and stepping back when necessary is a good skill but living like nothing matters may make you lose out on moments that matters.

We are humans were are meant to care, to express emotions and ourselves. Excitement, disappointment and heartbreak reminds us that we are humans and that we are meant to feel, that we are engaged and alive. Caring might be risky, being vulnerable is hard and scary but imagine being living life on mute and uncaring because you are afraid of being uncool or cringe. At the end of the day, bonds don't form over who can ignore each other feeling the best, they form over vulnerability, care, and laughter.

It's not about nonchalance, it's all about balance. Knowing when to let things roll of your back and when to burn with passion and unyeilding care. It's easy not to care but the bravest thing you can do is to care unapologetically.

It's Abeegail😉
Caring unapologetically.
Thanks for reading.