THE BIG MOVE: Finding Myself

As I have come to find out, moving to another city is very scary. Everything feels new, odd and different. Ever since i moved from Lagos, it has been one shock to another. It is quite scary, trying to fit in, and conform with new rules that you are not really used to.This was my first time traveling such a long distance alone without my Mom. Truth be told, i was scared out of my mind. Without my mom, i had no one to calm my what ifs and my troubled mind.

At first there was the joy of being in a new environment, finally getting away from home. Being free to explore and get to know more places without out my mom's overprotectiveness breathing on my neck. Soon after, homesickness started to kick in, i miss my former life in Lagos, i missed my parents and also my friends and sometimes i wonder why i even moved at all. Everything feel out of place and i keep reminding myself that it would take so time to get used to being away from home, well it's been four months and it's not getting better.

One constant struggle is communication. Although I moved to my hometown, i have quite a bit of a struggle trying to understand words in my local dilect and as soon as i noticed this, instant regret washed over me, i wished i paid more attention when my mother was teaching me, i know the basics but i still find it hard to follow up.

One thing I'm thankful for is my sister, she made this big move easier, moving alone is bad enough, talkless of being completely alone in the middle of nowhere. I had someone to show me the way, to be with, to talk to, to make it feel a little bit familiar. I think of her as my second mother, sometimes i do slip up and call her "mommy" because she acts like one.

One thing i have learnt or I'm still learning is that it won't be okay immediately things won't fall in place immediately, the road will still look completely unfamiliar, you would definitely get lost both physically and emotionally, homesickness would hit you like you've never seen, but it's all a part of the process, it will grow on you slowly, so slowly that you don't realize that things has gotten better.