Ghoster vs Ghosted

Hi, I'm Abeegail, welcome to my blog, recently one of my really close friend opened up to me about my bad habit of leaving people on read or just disappearing out of the blue and I've thought about it and I've just figured it out, so today we'll be talking about ghosting and being ghosted.

In the technological age the term being ghosted is not an uncommon term. We've all experienced being ghosted and I would say it's not a lovely experience. My friend opened my eyes to the fact that I am a chronic ghoster. He seriously attacked me, asking me why I like to go AWOL and not answer text or calls for days even months. When he threw this question at me I had to ask myself 'why do I ghost people'. I had to break it down mentally in my mind.

If you ask me if say, sometimes I just don't feel like talking, I'm taking a break, just because I'm connected to the Internet doesn't mean you have a twenty-four hours access to me. Sometimes I'm going through a lot of things and I really can't deal with anything and sometimes my mind is so overwhelmed that I go into sensory overload. While these are good reasons, it really does approve the fact that it's okay to ghost someone, I know it isn't. People have feelings and if you call someone a friend or loved one, you are on one part responsible for their feelings.

But on a deeper level I'll say it's because I really don't think people miss me or want me in their life. I genuinely felt like nobody cared if i am there or not, like my existence didn't really change anything anybody feels. I'm so surprised when people are upset about my lack of presence, even if I have convinced a small portion of myself to believe that they actually do care, I'll leave them on read, in the name of not in the mood and I'll conclude that they probably hate me now, because two days has turned into two months. It's more of they were fine before me and they'll be fine after. I know I'm not fair to them because it's really not my decision to make. I don't give people the chance to tell or show me how they feel before I put them into the category of people who don't like me.

So sometimes people don't ghost you because you did or said something wrong or to manipulate you. Some people are just struggling to fully grasp their self worth. They are not intentionally trying to hurt you but they are just a little lost as to how to find themselves as they navigate this world. Even that being said this doesn't discount them from hurting you. You shouldn't be roped in, just know that some people are not trying to actively hurt you with their actions, it just so happens that it does.

It's still Abeegail ✨💗
Trying to find my worth.