Five year old me

I want to be a child again, to go on meaningless adventures with my friends. I want to be a child again even now that I'm grown.

Hi everyone, I'm Abeegail, welcome to my blog, I'm a teen who likes reminiscing of good and happy times. It's my first time posting on this platform. I was going through my old childhood photos and all I wanted was to go back in time and be a child again. No one told me adulting was hard. I'm a young adult and some responsibilities have been pushed on me as I am growing, but I'm slowly getting overwhelmed and I know more is yet to come. As an adult you are responsible for the important stuff, the little stuff, the stuff that makes you happy, the stuff that makes you whole, while still trying to deal with problems life throws at you, so I have come to the conclusion of wanting to be a child again.

I want to go back to the calm morning, the gentle tap from my mother telling me to wake up, as i perceive the aroma of breakfast. No waking up with the dread of bills and to-do list that never has all the boxes checked. The only dilemma I could have about the day was what games to play and which friend I could visit. And if friends weren't around then imagination wouldn't be far off either. Chairs and blankets could be turned into an underground bunker, cardboard boxes could be a spaceship, sticks could be swords, weapons, or a magic wand. There was no limit, the world was what we made it to be, nothing could really come between us and fun when we have imagination.

Being a child was way easier and making friends wasn't more than " he/she could play hopscotch really well". Those connections were pure and effortless. Friendship that was formed from words like "wanna play" or "can you play......".
Now I'm in my teens almost In adulthood and I can't call two people who genuinely care about me other than family. We didn't care about status, opinions, or past mistakes. We cared about fun, adventure and loyalty. I miss family time, it was never forced it just happens naturally; family dinners, weekend outing and bedtime stories, ohhh.....how I miss bedtime stories, especially from my father, it was my favourite childhood memory. I would give anything to be in the arm of my father as he tells me a folklore. I want to feel that togetherness of staying with my family under the same roof, but everyone is grown and everyone wants to live the nest.

I want to go back to when little things make me happy; a new doll not worth more than a dollar, a new pencil case, my favourite colouring books. Little things would light me up and I'd be so happy. I'd find joy in the little things. There was also living in the moment, no one was living for a tiktok reel. We appreciated the present moment, when we laughed we really laughed, it was real all the time. I want to go back to the time where I believe everything was possible; being an astronaut, or a superhero, or even a princess, nothing felt out of reach, like it was at the tip of our fingers. No one has ever wanted to be a princess as bad as me 😂. I'd sing all the Barbie princess songs I knew in front of my mirror in my flowy dress with the burning dream of being a princess and living in a grand castle but now I'm fighting to stay alive, talk more of being a princess.

It's still Abeegail,
Trying to go back to five year old me,